Effective Communication Techniques That Will Keep Your Relationship Healthy

Communication is not limited to speech. Even in silence, we are communicating. For couples who worry about their lack of communication, it is imperative that both partners closely examine their communication choices. Such choices lay a foundation for how your relationship will go. Healthy communication serves as a key to unlocking higher levels of connection.

Sure, you feel attracted and can finish each other’s sentences. But how often do you actively listen? Do you make each other walk on eggshells? Does your communication style include eye rolls, deep sighs, and negative body language? To grow as a couple, you must appreciate the importance of your interactions, and that’s what this post is all about.

7 Effective Communication Techniques That Will Keep Your Relationship Healthy

1. Respect Differences

couple talking

Expecting your partner (or anyone) to communicate precisely as you do is self-sabotage. Our differences enrich our connections and challenge us to keep growing. Therefore, enter into communication with your significant other in a place of love and respect. Let that spirit guide you.

2. Stay Curious

Following up on #1 above, this is an unexpected benefit. When someone disagrees with you, it can be a gift. You get to learn how someone else — in this case, someone you love — views a particular topic, situation, or idea. For starters, the conflict may end up teaching you something new. On a deeper level, it’s a chance for both of you to learn something new about each other. Embrace this opportunity!

3. Talk About Talking

Communication is not an act you spontaneously perform as needed. It’s a way of life — a process with no finish line. Hence, you are advised to talk about communication in calm times. Clarify your wants and needs. Talk about what works best when you’re upset. Set boundaries. Openly discuss what you’d ideally want to change about the other person’s communication style. Lay the groundwork that makes it smoother for you to handle spur-of-the-moment issues.

4. The Only “Win” is a Mutual Resolution

When interacting with your partner, you are not competing. You want both of you to walk away from every interaction with a sense of resolution. If you feel yourself trying to win, you may need to take a break (see #5 below). Keep focused on where and how you agree, and use this common ground as a launching pad to connect despite your differences.

5. Take Breaks

Most of the time, you can resolve disagreements gradually. This approach allows you to focus elsewhere, calm emotions, and have more room to contemplate other viewpoints.

6. Make Repairs

Sometimes, a difference of opinion can damage your relationship. Be ready to switch gears from contention to reconciliation. This typically means someone must apologize, forgiveness is discussed, and steps are taken to repair any fallout.

7. Practice Humility

It requires humility to evaluate contentious situations and decide if any of them are worth fighting about. Sometimes, you can safely agree to disagree. Other times, you might opt not to plant your flag about something that doesn’t feel critical to you. Check your ego and assess your intentions. Self-evaluation is crucial because most fights reveal a deeper reality about your relationship.

Do You Need to Dig Deeper?

If you feel you’re both taking positive steps but not making progress with communication, there could be other factors at work. Talking to a relationship counselor is an excellent way to excavate the deeply rooted issues that negatively impact your interactions. In the safety of a therapy room, you can explore your dynamics, patterns, and biases in a productive way. Communication is a skill, and you can keep improving with proper guidance and commitment.

About Kathryn Bowen MS, LCPC: Kathryn (Kittie) Bowen MS, LCPC, is a licensed therapist and founder and director of Bozeman Counseling Center. She is passionate about helping people get unstuck so that they can start thriving in all important areas of life. Counseling and Coaching is a second career for her. She started out in the corporate world, worked crazy hours, and had zero work-life balance. Eighteen years ago she made the decision to leave her executive position and pursue her love of human potential and personal development. After attending graduate school in Mental Health Counseling, at Montana State University, she established a private practice providing therapy to individuals and couples.
Kathryn Bowen

Kathryn (Kittie) Bowen, MS, LCPC, is the the founder and director of Bozeman Counseling Center. She is passionate about helping people get unstuck so that they can start thriving in all important areas of life. Eighteen years ago Kittie made the decision to leave her executive position and pursue her love of human potential and personal development. After attending graduate school in Mental Health Counseling, she established a private practice providing therapy to individuals and couples.

Education:

  • Undergraduate - BS in Business, Accounting, Western Washington University

  • Graduate - MS in Mental Health Counseling, Monana State University

License:

  • Montana BBH-LCPC-LIC-1579

https://www.bozemancounselingcenter.com/kathryn-bowen
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