How to Care for Yourself When You Have a Newborn
For some parents, the phrase “care for yourself” may sound impossible or inappropriate. There’s a newborn in the house, so self-care is no longer an option. It’s easy to understand this assumption, but this mindset must not take hold — especially for new mothers. Of course, a sea change has occurred. Compromises and sacrifices are the new normal. Even so, it is possible and necessary for both you and your helpless newborn to be cared for.
Ideally, you planned in advance for this juggling act. If not, you can learn what you need to know on the fly. With diligence and a little time, you can balance your own needs with those of your bundle of joy.
A Few of the Post-Birth Challenges You May Deal With
Every scenario is teeming with unique factors, but there are some universal obstacles to prepare for. For moms, there are hormonal shifts from pregnancy to childbirth. Your body undergoes gradual changes over the nine months. Then, suddenly, you experience a seismic shift as soon as the baby is born. Drastic but inevitable changes in hormone levels can result in mood swings, difficulty regulating emotions, anxiety, and more.
Running parallel to these biological changes, you have the culture shock of a whole new life. It feels like everyone you’ve ever known is reaching out to talk or meet the baby. Time is a precious commodity; you’re not getting alone time with your partner, and keeping a regular sleep schedule seems impossible. Combine all of this together, and it will up to two realities:
You need self-care more than ever.
You lack sufficient time and energy to practice self-care.
Now what?
How to Care for Yourself When You Have a Newborn
Accept the Situation
No one benefits from choosing denial. You don’t have to pretend all is going smoothly. Instead, choose to recognize the need for a new plan and embrace the required steps.
Protect Your Sleep
Every step on this journey becomes more difficult and complicated when you are sleep-deprived. Once you’ve decided the need to prioritize your well-being, sleep could be at the top of the list. Safeguarding your sleep habits can make everything else that much easier.
Be Mindful
You will feel tempted to time travel. You might live in the past as you second-guess yourself. Just as often, life can feel like a perpetual bracing for the next stressful moment. You will never — never — regret choosing to stay present and savoring every minute of the chaos. Such a decision is undoubtedly a powerful way to care for your emotional well-being.
Stay Active
As much as you can, keep moving. This goes beyond chores and obligations. Find ways to move your body — preferably outside. To make this happen, you’ll likely need some support (see below).
Work With Others (and Sometimes Not)
For starters, you’re under no obligation to satisfy other people’s perception of how much access they should have to you and your newborn. Make decisions that feel best for you and the baby. At the same time, if a partner is involved, work together as a team to handle chores and tasks while managing non-stop notifications. If there isn’t a partner involved, get comfortable with asking for help with everything from housework to babysitting to having a shoulder to cry on.
Professional Help is Just a Click Away
The mere thought of practicing daily self-care while tending to your baby may feel like a pipe dream. If so, a proven method for finding the balance you seek is to talk with a perinatal therapist. Your weekly sessions — and yes, video chat is an option — can go a long way in making this process feel more doable. Let’s talk soon.